13 May What You Should and Shouldn’t Say to Anyone Going Through a Divorce
Divorce can seem like the end of the world. No one gets married thinking they will call it quits later. When a couple decides to part ways, they want someone to listen rather than judge them.
What You Can Say to Someone Going Through a Divorce
If you want to support a loved one going through a divorce, choose your words wisely. Here are some things you can say that can help them heal:
I am here to talk if you are ready to
Your friend is going through emotional upheaval. A good crying session can ease some of that burden. You don’t have to be a licensed therapist to listen to your friend going through a divorce. Just ask them if they want to talk about it, and if they do, grab a pint of ice cream or a couple of beers and head on over.
You’re a wonderful person
A divorce can make people doubt their worth. When warring couples start to hurl insults at each other, it worsens the situation. Remind your friend that they are worthy of love and acceptance during this tumultuous experience.
Remind your friend that they are still capable of love irrespective of what they are going through. Genuine praise can give them the strength to crawl out of a depressive state.
What You Shouldn’t Say to Someone Going Through a Divorce
Your words can make or break your friend during this difficult time. Here are some things you should keep to yourself:
Whose fault was it?
There are always two sides to a story. Unless your friend was in an abusive marriage, there could be a laundry list of reasons for their divorce. Cheating may also be a symptom of a much bigger problem. You don’t have all the pieces of that puzzle. It might be better not to ask who was responsible for the breakup of the marriage. A blame game will only make your friends spiral and compromise their already fragile mental health.
I could never do that to my children
When you have children, the last thing you want to think about is raising them alone. No one wants their kids to live between two households or think they need to take sides. The best thing parents can do is be there for their children and ensure they have a stable life afterward. In some cases, children are better off post-divorce than living in a broken home. Telling someone you can’t imagine doing that to your kids is unfair, unkind, and doesn’t help.
Provide Legal Resources That Can Streamline the Divorce Process
The bottom line is that you should avoid giving unsolicited advice where it is not needed or telling someone to forget about their experience and move on. Let your friends talk about their divorce, but don’t push them. Besides offering a shoulder to cry on, go the extra mile and recommend a service that can prepare divorce documents for them or help with mediation, such as Guideway Legal Documents & Mediation Services.
We have been supporting divorcing couples for more than two decades and can help prepare your legal documents. If needed, we can also create a nurturing parenting plan that supports your children post-divorce. Get in touch today.