That Awkward Conversation: Talking About a Prenup

There are a lot of misconceptions about what prenups, premarital agreements, and prenuptial agreements are and what they do. The first step in deciding whether you need a prenup or Premarital Agreement is understanding what it is.

Basically, a Premarital Agreement (prenup) is a private contract that defines certain issues within a marriage that has not yet taken place. The document typically includes information regarding spousal support and property division in the event of divorce or death.

Prenups are designed for couples who are looking for a way to prepare for a long-lasting, successful marriage by having deciding in advance how to handle things like:

1. Assets and debts prior to the marriage

2. Marital property and debts during the marriage

3. Credit and borrowing

4. Working and career expectations

5. Spousal support and child support from past marriages and relationships

6. Gifts from families

7. Taxes

8. Higher Education and student loans

9. Business ownership

10. Death or disability

Do You Need a Prenup?

In spite of their controversy, prenups really do have their place. Marriage is a legal contract, after all, so why not discuss all its components. No matter where you take your vows, your marriage starts at the court house. That has nothing to do with the romance of your union. And, if at some point your marriage ends, it will end at the courthouse. Not very romantic, we know, but we actually think that having the discussions necessary to draft a premarital agreement actually help cement a relationship and create intimacy. There are some frank, factual questions you can ask yourself to determine whether you may be served well by a Premarital Agreement.

The questions do not judge or evaluate your love relationship. It’s simply the fact scenario of the legal aspect of your marriage.

1. Do you plan to leave your estate to someone other than your spouse when you die?

2. Do you have a portfolio of real estate, or do you expect to own real estate in the future?

3. Are your assets worth more than $50,000, or will they in the future?

4. Do you earn 6 figures, or do you hope to?

5. Do you have a stock portfolio, or do you plan to?

6. Is one of you in college? Graduate school? Is college or graduate school in your future plans?

7. Is this a second marriage for either of you?

8. Are you of different religious faiths?

9. Do you want to have children?

Once you’ve done your research and made the decision to move forward with a Premarital Agreement, you can prepare to have the awkward conversation. The more comfortable you are, the better it will go. Remember to be flexible and open. Don’t rush into issue. Feel into the situation and watch your partner for social cues. It’s important not to let fear enter the discussion and create unnecessary drama. Share your feelings back and forth and do not expect the conversation will be resolved in one pass. Bringing up the prenup is the beginning of a long, thoughtful conversation that builds trust and intimacy.

California Document Preparers helps couples with Prenuptial Agrements feel comfortable with what can be an awkward legal document. Stop in at one of our 3 Bay Area locations to talk about your Prenuptial Agreement today.