The Covid Divorce: Couples Want More from Their Relationships

The Covid Divorce: Couples Want More from Their Relationships

Guideway assists our clients with uncontested legal matters, including Divorce. If you and your spouse can agree on division of property, you don’t need a lawyer, and we can save you a lot of money. We prepare the legal documents and guide you through it.

 

There’s a general perception these days that Divorce is on the rise

Yet according to the Institute for Family Studies, the divorce rate reached a record low in 2019—for every 1,000 divorces, only 14.9 ended in divorce. But after a year and a half riding the pandemic rollercoaster, it’s a wonder anyone’s still married. Too much forced togetherness, economic insecurity and job loss. It’s been particularly hard on women—they’ve shouldered the bulk of childcare duties as whole families have switched to working and learning from home. But just as post-pandemic job hunters are seeking higher pay and more benefits, Covid has made many couples realize that they are no longer satisfied with the status quo. They want more from their relationships.

 

According to Matt Lundquist, clinical director of Tribeca Therapy:

The pandemic has exacerbated issues that couples might have previously ignored, or tried to ignore. Alongside the enormous stress that Covid has created, many people in long-term marriages have found themselves at a crossroads. “I think this has been a forced moment of profound reflection. People are thinking a lot about what matters to them, what they want in life, what they tolerated living without that they don’t want to tolerate anymore. People are realizing that they have choices.”

 

Family attorney Alton L. Abramowitz: with SSRGA: “People are reexamining their lives, thinking: Is this the way I want to live for the next ten, 20 years?” he says. “There is this pent-up desire to move on with their lives.”

 

New York Magazine-The Covid Divorce: Couples want more from their relationships

He had promised he was sober, and then I found empty bottles

“What shifted for us is the lack of coping skills and distractions. We were in a very small house with our kids in lockdown. There was no place to hide. My ex’s alcoholism began to loom during the lockdown. I’m trying to raise the kids and he’s struggling with his addiction. With all of the stress of the pandemic, I needed the partner that I never got. I caught his stashing bottles around the house. My father has addiction issues, and it was not lost on me that I’m calling my mom, and she’s crying to me about this exact issue 20 years down the road. I had to end this cycle because it was not going to change.”

— Maya, 39, Montreal; married 16 years, together 21

 

She wanted a breadwinner, and I didn’t know how to get a six-figure job

“Before the pandemic, I was working for myself as a wedding photographer, and I was planting seeds for screenwriting and writing a book. I had worked hard to carve out a successful creative career. The pandemic changed things overnight—no one was having big weddings, so my income dried up; we didn’t meet our financial goals and ended the year with debt. I took a job with my wife’s company as a salesperson. The CEO loved my wife and hired me because of her. I never really succeeded in this culture. It cracked open big differences between us on how we define success and value money. We ended up separating, I moved to California and realized that I was happier alone. We are now planning to divorce, though not rushing to file papers.”

— Parker, 30, Southern CA; married four years, together seven

Why work with Guideway?

 

Guided Mediation. For those divorcing couples who have difficulty reaching consensus or for whom the Divorce process has stalled, our Guided Mediation, through a process of compromise and negotiation, assists couples in reaching successful conclusions.

 

One flat fee. There are never annoying add-on charges for copying, phone calls and other miscellany. Where appropriate, we also notarize documents and file them with the County Recorders’ Office. We’re a single point of contact. You’ll work with a dedicated specialist who is available for questions and support throughout the process. We’ve been in business since 2003, with three Bay Area offices–Dublin, Oakland and Walnut Creek. More than 60% of our business comes from referrals and repeat business. Schedule an appointment today.

 

Guideway services the entire Bay Area

 

Berkeley, El Cerrito, Richmond, Pinole, Alameda, San Leandro, Castro Valley Newark, San Lorenzo, Concord, Alamo, Danville, Lafayette, Orinda, Moraga, Pleasant Hill, Martinez, Pittsburg, Antioch, Brentwood, Oakley, Discovery Bay, Pleasanton, San Ramon, Livermore, Tracy and Fremont. Our clients also live in the Napa Valley, Benicia, Vallejo, Martinez, Fairfield.

janet
jpeischel@top-mindmarketing.com